Our white house is on the rock, a rock that is purported to have the face of a man or woman – abi na witch? Though we don’t drink or delve we still tend to behave like people that have had a little too much in our everyday policy making….call it policies on the rock.
‘Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest-
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest-
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!’
Of course, these are very harsh and cruel policies iced and spiced with ‘Trojan gift’ measures that has the ultimate aim of maiming the common man, who incidentally is no longer common – billed for extinction by the year 2023.
Thus, someone has humorously called our brand aso rock villa…….but we remain arse hole rock incorporated, a sado-politico-entrepreneural venture, incorporated to generate perpetual income for some ‘gods’ and their errand boy.
This it does by continuously generating ideas, viable or not, contemporary or not and testing or running these on the 200 million plus guinea pigs that have volunteered themselves and their generations unborn as citizens of this great ‘laboratory’ ala baba himself.
While they are reeling from the opium effect of our ‘brainwaves’ we quietly restructure, recapitalize and consolidate the economy into our bottomless pockets.
Of course everybody goes home smiling, the keyword is smiling, whether they are suffering and smiling or not.
We make bold to declare that we have successfully built a brand that everyone loves and silently crave, though in their closets.
The tatafos, amebos and detractors may be heard jealously lampooning our brand as being sustained by tyranny, hypocrisy, greed, corruption and generally invoking the antitrust law against us but not to worry we have successfully maneuvered them into a corner and can boldly declare to them ‘who among you can righteously cast the first stone…..?’
London, Paris, New York, Milan, J’borg, Japan, wherever you go our brand is a show stopper, head turner and an attention grabber. On the catwalks, the headlines, billboards, flyers, picketers, movie and theater stages, late night talk shows, etc.
Just you name it and our brand is on it in one flavor or the other- greed, megalomaniac pimp-power drunk, corruption, 419, mismanagement, underdevelopment, hired assassins, hijacking, boko haram bombing, ritual murder, election rigging….just name the category and we’ll deliver.
From the bickering chairman and his vice to the board of directors and the special and not- too- special assistants, the legal and illegal advisers, we are addicted to our duties.
From our corporate head office down to the various regional branches, manned by ably trained first class crops of administrative goons, it is duty first and self last.
Our business development unit is currently holding talks with representatives of Hollywood for box office movie rights to our brand, and the careful global brand building and management to create a world intellectual and product merchandise chain for our brand in the areas of picture books, T-shirts, video games, caps, stuffed toy, comic books, pets, television and ancillary rights.
We currently outsource lots of our services to the rest of the world in one way or the other and the demand has simply outstripped supply – ask them in Thailand – and our factories are running extra shifts to try to meet up demand. We’ve been forced to look at options like affiliate programs, franchising, MLM, direct marketing, etc.
Actually, we’ve redefined capitalism better than the Americans, not really more British than the British but you know……..
So watch out…coming to the cinema, departmental chain store, cyber cafe, catwalk, book club, billboard near you…the world famous, enigmatic and – by our estimation- the king of brands worldwide, even in biosphere2 …. arse hole rock incorporated…..the Super Superbrand.